Some 7000 words later...

I'm hopelessly in love with my male lead... Is that bad?

It should mean, that if I love him, so will others...

but if I am getting jealous at my female lead - and she is still stupid... or actually she isn't. [I made a MarySue to bash her a little. She had to be a MarySue, otherwise she wouldn't have had the right to bash the poor girl. Heroines may not be bashed... because people are supposed to identify themselves with her. Anyway, after the bashing and straightening up, she is now only extremely ignorant and full of weird prejudices, but not stupid. It's more believable now that the hero could fall in love with her. I just don't like it one bit :-D Perhaps, because she isn't me - the MarySue is, and she's already married to the villain, and even though he is all nice and that, I like the little brother better :-D Maybe I get my villain leave his wife for the heroine, so that I... er... MarySue can get the hero ;-> No, he would never do that. But, on the other hand, look at her. Who would? On the third hand (how many are there?) she might be a total bitch. Of course she isn't because she's MarySue, but because she is, why would her husband ever even think of cheating her?]

I'm starting to feel more and more that I'm writing a Twilight :-D The female leas is "normal, average, not too pretty" (but kind of pretty, anyway) and the male lead is like SOOOO gorgeous. :-D
Isn't that suppose to happen too? But I wanted to write a mystery, thriller, suspense... and now I'm writing a paranormal romance :-D Nothing wrong with that, but... *sigh* It's like when you WANT to write one thing, but the story decides it's something else.

Also, there is this Finnish author, Kaari Utrio, whose heroines are ALWAYS red-heads and heros ALWAYS blonde... so I'm writing a Kaari Utrio! And it was totally accidental. I wanted a red-haired heroine, but not one with amazing green eyes, no, she would have brown eyes.
Then I made the villain, and I wanted to make him a Nazi, so - behold, Lucius Malfoy. But he would have dark blue eyes, slate-blue eyes, warm eyes. (He looks actually quite a bit like my nephew... Interesting.)
So then he invented himself a wife, who had the same color hair as the heroine, but different color eyes. Well... she decided to become real, not stay an invention, and my MarySue was born.
Then I created the hero, who is villain's little brother, so he had to be blond too, but whereas his brother was silver-blond with dark eyes, he was to be like a spring day, with sky-blue eyes and light, golden hair.

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
Well... Wasn't I supposed to sueify my book and add purple?

Anyway... isn't it nice to be a writer, you can take every person and character and mix it up and take what you like and leave what you don't like, and then play make-believe? In a world where everything is just as you like it... except when the characters and the plot and the side plots and all the other bits and pieces decide to take the story to a whole different direction... but that's nice too, it's like one of those books, you know, written just for you. You get to be the first person to read this brand new story! 

P.S. I wrote over 7000 words today for NaNoWriMo... I was hopelessly behind after my 10 days in Finland, but now it's starting to look possible again :-) Wahoo, me!

P.P.S. From writer today: a 12 step program for writers who care