I was working on character questionnaire/interview questions, and this one question hit my eyes:
What sorts of curtains do you have? Frilly lacy ones, Venetian blinds, pull-down shades?
What sorts of curtains do you have? Frilly lacy ones, Venetian blinds, pull-down shades?
Dewain
Er... what? Frilly, lacy ones... Venetian blinds? What are Venetian blinds? Blind people from Venice? Why would Venetian blinds need curtains? Or be used as curtains? Pull-down shades? Is that some sort of magic?
Interviewer
No, Venetian blinds and pull-down shades are types of curtains. The question is about what you'd prefer to use to stop light from coming in through the window, or out, or to stop people from seeing in.
No, Venetian blinds and pull-down shades are types of curtains. The question is about what you'd prefer to use to stop light from coming in through the window, or out, or to stop people from seeing in.
Dewain
Oh. Well... something simple, easy to use, and effective. And neutral. Practical.
Oh. Well... something simple, easy to use, and effective. And neutral. Practical.
Interviewer
Do you keep your house clean?
Do you keep your house clean?
Dewain
I don't think about it. I suppose it is clean.
I don't think about it. I suppose it is clean.
Interviewer
Is it dusty?
Is it dusty?
Dewain
No.
No.
Interviewer
I assume you don't clean it yourself, someone else does it for you.
I assume you don't clean it yourself, someone else does it for you.
Dewain
I don't clean... so I suppose you're right. I don't know who, [---] takes care of such things. Either he does it, or pays someone to do it. I don't care, just that it's clean.
I suppose I need to look into that.
I don't clean... so I suppose you're right. I don't know who, [---] takes care of such things. Either he does it, or pays someone to do it. I don't care, just that it's clean.
I suppose I need to look into that.
Interviewer
What do your desk or workspace look like? Small and cramped, huge and expansive, covered in drifts of books and papers? neatly ordered and clean?
What do your desk or workspace look like? Small and cramped, huge and expansive, covered in drifts of books and papers? neatly ordered and clean?
Dewain
Desk?
Desk?
Interviewer
Yes. You are a private investigator, so you have a desk to work by, don't you?
Yes. You are a private investigator, so you have a desk to work by, don't you?
Dewain
What would that be for? My workspace is the city, I move around, talk to people, such things. What is a desk to do with that?
What would that be for? My workspace is the city, I move around, talk to people, such things. What is a desk to do with that?
Interviewer
Well... if you need to write things down, and research books and such... file information, such things.
Well... if you need to write things down, and research books and such... file information, such things.
Dewain
Oh, [---] does that. His desk is clean and orderly. All his papers are.
Oh, [---] does that. His desk is clean and orderly. All his papers are.
Interviewer
Can you find what you're looking for when you need it?
Can you find what you're looking for when you need it?
Dewain
Yeah. Everything has a place, every thing in its place.
Yeah. Everything has a place, every thing in its place.
Interviewer
What color are your sheets?
What color are your sheets?
Dewain
What? Uh. White.
What? Uh. White.
Interviewer
Satin or cotton?
Satin or cotton?
Dewain
Cotton, I suppose. Maybe linen.
Cotton, I suppose. Maybe linen.
Interviewer
Patterned with flowers, or covered with pictures of toys?
Patterned with flowers, or covered with pictures of toys?
Dewain
These are really weird questions. Why would there be pictures or patterns on sheets?
These are really weird questions. Why would there be pictures or patterns on sheets?
Interviewer
Some people like that.
Some people like that.
Dewain
Well... not I.
Well... not I.
Interviewer
What sorts of food do you eat?
What sorts of food do you eat?
Dewain
From sheets to food... er... ordinary food. What is there.
From sheets to food... er... ordinary food. What is there.
Interviewer
Do you cook your own dinners?
Do you cook your own dinners?
Dewain
I can if I need to. It's mostly something I crab and go. Like... meat, bread, fruit, cheese...
I can if I need to. It's mostly something I crab and go. Like... meat, bread, fruit, cheese...
Interviewer
Are you a good cook, a gourmet, or a terrible cook?
Are you a good cook, a gourmet, or a terrible cook?
Dewain
One can eat what I cook. It's not important.
One can eat what I cook. It's not important.
Interviewer
Do you eat out?
Do you eat out?
Dewain
Occasionally
Occasionally
Interviewer
Are you on a diet?
Are you on a diet?
Dewain
What's a diet?
What's a diet?
Interviewer
A restricted eating order. Some people are on a diet because they are allergic to some foods, or because they want to loose weight, or because their beliefs set limitations to what they can eat.
Dewain
No. I eat what there is to eat.
No. I eat what there is to eat.
Interviewer
Where do you vacation, and how often?
Where do you vacation, and how often?
Dewain
Vacation? What is that, then?
Vacation? What is that, then?
Interviewer
People take a couple of days off their normal work routine, and often travel away from home.
People take a couple of days off their normal work routine, and often travel away from home.
Dewain
The oddest things... No, I don't vacation. Or travel.
The oddest things... No, I don't vacation. Or travel.
Interviewer
Do you have any pets?
Do you have any pets?
Dewain
Like... animals who live with me? No.
Like... animals who live with me? No.
Interviewer
Would you like to have any?
Would you like to have any?
Dewain
No.
No.
Interviewer
why not?
why not?
Dewain
Why would I? What is the point with pets? There's plenty of children to pet in the world who would need it, and people spend money, a lot of money, too, to buy some... ball of fur, that's totally useless to anything. And then they spend money to feed that thing, and buy it jewelry and toys and furniture... it's so useless and selfish and stupid.
Why would I? What is the point with pets? There's plenty of children to pet in the world who would need it, and people spend money, a lot of money, too, to buy some... ball of fur, that's totally useless to anything. And then they spend money to feed that thing, and buy it jewelry and toys and furniture... it's so useless and selfish and stupid.
Interviewer
Some people have pets as company, some people prefer the company of animals to people.
Dewain
Animals are preferable to some people, but people in general are better company than animals. Find those people, and don't associate with the bad people.
